If you’ve been following the Netflix series A Man on the Inside, you know it takes a free-wheeling and funny look into daily life at the fictional Pacific View Retirement Center. The show has a serious side, too, tackling major issues faced by aging adults with insight and compassion. In fact, the show’s premise is based on the very serious challenge of dementia, though that isn’t revealed right away.

The character Julie is a private investigator. Charles, played by Ted Danson, is a recently widowed senior seeking direction. Julie hires him to move to the retirement center as her “inside man” to do some sleuthing. “This necklace, my client’s family heirloom, has gone missing at Pacific View Retirement Community,” she tells him. And with that, Charles' adventure begins.

Charles takes the assignment and discovers that senior living is a lot more fun than he expected. Through the support of team members and fellow residents, he comes to understand his own challenges. In the end, he is energized to find a new purpose in life.

Dealing with Dementia

Charles’ beloved wife has recently passed away, on the eve of moving into a memory care community. While processing this transition, Charles finds understanding at Pacific View, where he meets other residents who have shared similar experiences, including Gladys, who is beginning her own memory care journey.

The Alzheimer's Association lists 10 warning signs of cognitive decline, including issues such as forgetting who you’re talking to, being confused or unusually quiet and collecting random objects. Through Gladys' story, we learn how these signs can manifest in unexpected ways–revealing (spoiler alert) Gladys to be the unwitting necklace thief.

The fictional Pacific View Retirement Center has a designated memory care “neighborhood,” mirroring The Goodman Group’s real-life managed communities, because those with memory loss and cognitive decline require specialized, personalized care.

Safety is paramount to ensure peace of mind. Secure courtyards provide plenty of room for outdoor activities and family visits. Inside, colors and music are thoughtfully chosen. Individual care focuses on each person’s strengths and encourages them to engage in meaningful activities.

Nurturing Family Connections

Some residents find that maintaining family visits can be challenging. Charles' daughter Emily, like many adult children, navigates the balance between her busy life with kids and connecting with her father emotionally.

Charles gets it. He knows his kids “love and adore him.” But “when they’re too busy or don’t respond to a question or a text or a phone call, I can feel like my seat on the bus has gotten further and further back.” It comes with aging. “All of a sudden, you have to find relevancy within, because you don’t always get it from without.”

At The Goodman Group’s managed communities, we encourage families to visit whenever possible. Here are some things to keep in mind.

• Strengthening bonds: Major changes can put a strain on even the closest families. Focusing on strengthening existing bonds helps smooth the way.
• Opening conversations: Here are some conversation-starters that may help you reconnect with your aging parents.
• Creating multi-generational moments: When grandkids visit, it’s hard to say who benefits more–children get a different perspective on life and their family and grandparents feel valued as well as loved.
• Supporting memory care visits: Visiting a loved one with dementia can be emotionally daunting. These tips will help both of you get the most from your time together.
• Making connections easier: GiGi Assistant® is here to help. This interactive app is used by many senior living communities managed by The Goodman Group. It allows family, caregivers, and residents to access the community calendar, among other things, to plan visits around upcoming events the whole family can enjoy.

Caregiver Guilt

Charles had promised his wife he would never move her into memory care, and she passed away the day before she was to move-in. Like many caregivers, Charles grapples with complex emotions. The decision to consider memory care was gut-wrenching, and now his wife is entirely gone. He feels so guilty, he cannot grieve properly. Caregiver guilt is common among adult children as well as spouses.

"I think anybody that puts a loved one in a memory care community, regardless of how nice it is, feels guilty," Garry W. reflected after moving his wife of more than 30 years to Villa at Terracina Grand, a memory care community in Naples, FL.

Elliott, a fellow resident at the fictional retirement community, tells Charles that death is just another part of aging. Charles begins to understand he's not alone. The community's shared wisdom and support help many find their path forward.

Downsizing and Letting Stuff Go

After his wife’s death, Charles can’t face sorting and packing away her belongings. For seniors, downsizing is difficult no matter the reason. Every item carries a memory, so the task is fraught with emotion. Getting help from a caregiver, family members, a friend, or a downsizing expert can make the process feel less intimidating.

“First deal with emotions, then the stuff,” advises AARP, which offers excellent tips to get through the process positively. Spiritual care directors at communities managed by The Goodman Group are always available to help residents with counseling. 

Creating Moments That Matter

"All any of us really want is more time with the people we love," observes Didi, managing director of the fictional retirement community in A Man on the Inside. 

While family visits are precious moments, the family atmosphere among residents and team members in a senior living community ensures everyone has the opportunity to engage with others in meaningful ways. If loved ones eventually require memory care, nothing compares to the peace of mind of knowing they can continue to live their best life in a safe and caring environment.